Blond Moment
by A Warped View Of Reality
Summary: An involentary blond Shikamaru. An easily-angered Temari. A hysterical Naruto. And a melodramticly Ino-ish Ino. Throw in a bottle of hair die, and some convenientally placed rooves, and there you have yourself a typical Shika/Ino story :


**Blonde Moment**

"Oh. My. God."

A pause.

"You. Are. So. Dead."

A giggle.

"I. Am. Going. To. Fucking. Kill. You."

A broad smile quirking lips.

"Seriously."

All said in a dull monotone as the newly peroxide-blonde Shikamaru stared at the unrecognisable face in the mirror.

"Are you having withdrawal symptoms or something? You _were_ the one who suggested it in the first place." She grinned, putting her own pale-blonde head (though hers was natural) next to his and blinking at him through the sheet of glass.

"No. _You_ kept begging me to let you give me a make-over. And you tricked me into agreeing." He said resiliently. Then, as an afterthought, "I hate you."

She pouted indignantly, "No you don't. You could _never_ hate me, Shika!" She trilled in a disturbingly high soprano. "But, seeing as you do..."

Ino let the sentence trail off as she danced over the window and yelled in her, non-too dainty, voice, "_Naruto_!"

Shikamaru turned a gaze of death upon her, surprising for someone who rarely showed any emotion at all. But Ino was used to it; they'd been best friends for nearly five years, after all.

"Oh yeah, sorry, Shika – I nearly forgot! _Temari_!" The look of fury in his eyes was quickly replaced with horror. Then more loathing.

"When I die I'm coming back to haunt you." He said simply.

"Aw, what makes you think you're going to die, Shika?" She widened her eyes at him.

"Temari will be homicidal when she sees this. But, I could just tell her you forced me." Ino snorted incredulously.

"Oh _yeah_, _that'll_ work! Me, a lowly medic, against you. An ANBU Black Op. Very believable, Shika."

"I _really_ wish you'd stop calling me that." He moaned, just as Temari of the Sand Village leapt in through the open window, Ino's multitude of magazines blown up in the mini-tornado.

"The girl _has_ got a flair for dramatic entrances, I'll give her that." Ino muttered, to which Shikamaru grinned and glanced at his ex-teammate fondly, and Temari frowned in confusion – not knowing what had passed.

Then she saw the hair.

And all hell broke loose.

"_What have you done to his hair_?" Temari yelled, whipping open her fan furiously and taking a fighting stance, glaring all the while with her teal eyes at Ino.

"Uh..." For once, the flower-shop owner was speechless, simply staring at Temari with a certain amount of trepidation. Shikamaru, in turn, stared at Ino, surprised to see that she looked almost afraid, fear being something he had never seen in her before.

But Ino's silence didn't last for long, neither did her fear, "So sure me if I wanted to add some _variety_ to his life, after all, all you bring to it is boredom!" Temari growled, "All he _ever_ does is hang around waiting for you to come from your village, and when you _are_ here, you never do _anything_ fun."

"_That's it_-"

"It was my idea!" Shikamaru said quickly, jumping up, with surprising speed for someone so lazy, and inserting himself between his furious girlfriend and his taunting best friend.

"It _was_!" Temari asked incredulously.

"Uh...yeah!" He glanced over Temari's shoulder to see Ino's wide blue eyes watching him, confusion blossoming. "I thought it would be good...to have a change...?" He offered, surprised when Temari sighed resignedly.

"It's not permanent, is it?"

"No..." He said after a shake of Ino's head.

"Well, I guess I can get used to it for now."

"You're not going to kill me? Not even a bit of maiming?"

Temari smiled at that, "No, of course not."

"Hang on! You were prepared to fight _me_, but not _him_!" Ino spouted loudly.

"Yes." Came Temari's informative reply, which only served irritate Ino all the more, but at that moment, they were interrupted by a newcomer arriving.

A shining golden head suddenly appeared from the top of the window, grinning broadly at them – azure eyes sparkling. Then his face registered an expression of complete and utter shock. But, just as swiftly, a look of unrivaled glee spread onto his tanned, up-side down features.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! Ino! I know you're totally in love with him and everything, but how does making Shikamaru look scarily like you help anything!"

Time stopped.

Or so it seemed for the horrified Temari, stunned Shikamaru and an infuriated Ino, who was torn between running and wringing Naruto's neck. She opted for both.

"_Nar-u-to_! _You. Are. So. Dead_!" She leapt at him, whacking him over the head. Hard. His indignant squeal echoed in her ears as she darted away from her home as fast as she possibly could.

* * *

Dusk found Ino sitting on the roof of some apartments, leaning against a wall in complete shadow. After running nearly all the way out of Konoha, she doubled back on herself and hurried to where she usually came when she wanted to be alone, albeit not very often, but she liked the solitude it provided, while still keeping her so close to the busy lives of everyday people.

That is, she _used_ to like the solitude it provided, until, that is, an intruder appeared next to her. Seemingly not registering her presence, he simply stared up at the dark sky, dusted with stars and heavy black clouds.

"Do you mind?" She snapped, folding her arms and glaring at him.

"Not at all."

"I hate you."

"Apparently not. According to Naruto, anyway."

She shot a razor-sharp look at him. "Well?"

"Well what?" Shikamaru asked, looking over at her lazily.

"_Damnit_, _Shika_!" She cried and made to leap off the roof in the most dramatic way possible.

But found she couldn't due to the brick wall she was pressed against.

Evil, evil, evil boy.

Well, man.

Whatever!

"You are a cruel person."

"Nope." He was getting closer.

Ino became acutely aware of the way he had her hands pinned on the wall either side of her with his annoying johnin-y strength.

"Skika!" She said in her best ok-stop-right-now-or-I'll-hurt-you voice.

"Yes, Ino?"

"What are you doing?"

"I would've thought that that'd be perfectly obvious." He said, looking down at her and still walking towards her with tiny steps.

So Ino was pretty much freaking out. Anyone other than Skikamaru she would be making out with them by now, but it was Shika for Christ's sake! Grr.

"Enlighten me."

"I'm trapping you against a wall on top of a roof."

That was one of the things that annoyed Ino most about Nara Shikamaru; his apparent love of stating the bloody obvious.

"_Shika_!"

But then he moved his face towards hers, and her eyelids fluttered shut out of habit (and hope).

A sharp crack echoed through the nearby streets.

Ino's boiling eyes snapped open, manicured nails flying to her scarlet cheek. For the first time in her life, she was speechless. With rage, though.

"That was for the hair." Shika said slowly, blinking at her as if he simply couldn't fathom why she has breathing heavily as she tried to control her temper and her knuckles her turning white. "What?"

Then he fell off the roof.

Well.

_Technically_, he was pushed, but she maintains that he slipped on a loose tile.

But one fact that is definite, is that he managed to hook his fingers round Ino's arms as he did, pulling her over with him. Luckily, there was another flat roof just below that one that they crashed onto, her landing on top of him. Sensing her advantage, she immediately grabbed _his_ wrists and held them down, though they both knew that he could wrench himself free whenever he wanted to.

Suddenly her head felt very light, like she was floating, but her limbs were as heavy as lead.

"Oh..." She groaned, sitting up and putting a hand on her forehead.

"Ino? What's wrong?"

He's worried, she vaguely noticed, but then the world swirled up and span and she fell back down onto his chest.

"Ino!" She looked up at him, gaze slightly blurry.

"I'm hungry." She said petulantly, "I haven't eaten all day."

Then, head still confused and dizzy, she leant forward a bit and kissed him. Like she had wanted to.

But he did nothing, nada, zilch.

She moved back and, her head clearing, stared down at him, half mortified by what she did and half annoyed he hadn't responded.

"What was that supposed to be?" He asked, looking bored as usual. She glared down at him.

"You felt _nothing_?" He shook his head, bleached hair swinging.

So she kissed him again, for longer, sweetly, slowly. He looked back at her blankly.

"B...but...I'm a good kisser!"

Shikamaru shrugged.

Ino, angry now, grabbed his head and poured every ounce of passion she had ever felt into that kiss, pressing him down against the roof forcefully.

"Ino?" He asked as she kissed his jaw. "Could you get off please? I think you're cutting off the circulation to my leg – have you put on weight?"

She jumped up, glared at him furiously, kicked him in his...hem...._sensitive_ area and ran off. With a toss of her head and a dramatic 'humph!' included, of course.

* * *

It was a few days until she saw him again. He turned up for their weekly ritual of watching whatever crappy film his mum had rented, stuffing themselves with popcorn while Ino bitched about all the characters in said film.

But when she opened the door to see his standing there, leaning on the door frame with his hands in his pockets, a DVD tucked under his arm and an extremely bored look on his face, she was not best pleased to see him.

"What do you want?"

He looked up, faintly surprised, "What do you mean? I always come over on Tuesdays."

"Well I guess it's a time for a break in tradition." She snapped and made to slam the door in his face, but he stopped her.

"Hey, Ino...I've been thinking-"

"I know, brain boy, about clouds? Or has Temari managed to feature this time?"

"Neither."

"Really!" She feigned horror, "Whatever will happen next!"

"Have you finished?" She nodded slightly, brushing her hair out of her face irritably. "Well. I was thinking. That despite the facts you're ridiculously loud, eat enough food to feed a small army then panic and eat nothing but celery for weeks, have a strange stalkerish obsession with the Uchiha kid, have the attention span of a gnat, wear inappropriately short outfits, are unnecessarily-"

"Does this list of insults have a point?"

"-stupid about your looks and apparently enjoy dying my hair unnatural shades," he took a breath, "that was one hell of a kiss the other night and I was wondering if you wanted to try it again?"

Ino scowled at him, grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him inside, shutting the door with a bang.

"Ino?"

"What!"

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"_Why_?"

"Because your skirt looks a little tight. Just a suggestion."

"_Shika_!"

_A/N: random, i know...so yeah - review if you particularly hate/love this story or are incredibly bored :) oh yeah, for ellie. for obvious reasons known only to here :D_

_Becki_

_x_


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